Definition: A booty, or ass, typically found on a black woman. This is kind of like a play on words. If you spot a chick with a huge, larger than normal, ass, it's no longer a booty. It's a bootay!
Example Usage
“ Dayum! Check out the bootay on her. I've got to get my hands on that ass! ”
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Tyrone Tells It more tyrone
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A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair, and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.
Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and the cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.
The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I gave you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Pittsburgh Steelers tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays for the monthly dues!"
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cabby and said, "What would you do?"
The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches a cold."
Definition: A perfectly well proportioned, plump ass.
Example Usage
“ Fey's got the perfect love cushion. I love grabbing hold of it while banging her doggystyle. ”
Definition: A perfectly well proportioned, plump ass.
Example Usage
“ Dana's got the perfect love cushion. I love grabbing hold of it while banging her doggystyle. ”
Definition: An ass that looks so damn good that it makes you cry.
Example Usage
“ Hey bro, check out that chick's onion booty.
Damn dawg, God must've spent some long hours sculpting that fine, shapely ass. ”
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A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife's snatch. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the doctor.
The doctor, after examining her, says that the wasp is too far in to remove with forceps so he says to the husband that he will have to try and entice it out by putting honey on his penis and withdrawing as soon as he feels the wasp. And so the honey is smeared, but because of his wife's screaming and his frantic dash to the doctor and the general panic, he just can't rise to the occasion.
So the doctor says he'll perform the deed if the husband and wife don't object. Naturally both agree for fear the wasp will do any damage, so the doctor quickly undresses, smears the honey on and instantly gets an erection, at which time he begins to plug the wife. Only he doesn't stop and withdraw but continues with vigor.
The husband shouts, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
To which the doctor replies, "Change of plan. I'm going to drown the little bastard!"
Definition: A woman's vagina that when fucked gets increasingly wet, sometimes even squirts.
Example Usage
“ I had no idea my girl had such a juice box. When I pulled my dick out after fucking her for an hour, she came all over me like a fucking geyser. ”
Definition: Licking your girl's asshole. Best when you add certain ingredients, like whipped cream or peanut butter.
Example Usage
“ I never knew eating a chick's ass could be so much fun, and delicious. Just add some cake frosting, some nuts and a cherry to her ass, and start rimming that shit out. You'll never wanna quit! ”
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President Bush was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on his future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living. He referred to his career as Governor of Texas, how he had signed "YES" 1,237 times for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval. Although the President was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his "red brothers."
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name -- Walking Eagle. The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they came to select the new name given to the President. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.
Definition: This is a sure way to get blue balls if it's not directly followed up by sex. It's when you and your girlfriend both have your clothes on and there's absolutely no physical interaction between each of your privates, yet you both motion as if you're fucking. Really, this can be done in just about any position, but this is the more prominent position in dry humpage.
Example Usage
“ That's gotta be the first time I've ever been to a bar, had a girl sit on my lap and dry hump me. When she stood up, she left a wet spot on my jeans.
Ah, it all makes sense now. I thought you pissed yourself! ”
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Definition: Because this is the sound made when a finger slides in and out of a sopping wet vagina, the word is used to describe female masturbation.
Example Usage
“ She loves to fap while watching porn. ”
Definition: Think of the wettest case of free-flowing diarrhea you have ever had.
Example Usage
“ I don't know what I ate last night, but I've had the worst case of butt butter all fucking morning.
I'm pretty sure it's the combination of drinking all night and White Castle.
Ah, that's it. I must have blacked out. How many sliders did I eat?
At least 20. You were like the human garbage disposal, which might help explain why you're shitting liquid. ”
Dennis the drunk was broke as usual, but needed a drink. He knew the barman to be a sporting fellow, so he offered him a bet.
"I'll bet you the price of a pint of beer that my prick is longer than your cat's tail," he said to the barman. The barman could not resist a certain winning bet so he lay down his money.
The barman whipped up the cat and measured it and then measured Dennis's somewhat sad-looking member. "You lose by just over 3 inches, Dennis," he said, "so pay up!"
"Just a minute," slurred Dennis. "Where did you measure the cat's tail from?"
"From its ass to its tip," replied the barman.
"OK," said Dennis. "Well, would you mind giving me the same courtesy!"
A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "Man, I'm dying to have sex in the worst way."
So the bartender says, "Well, the worst way I know of is standing up in a hammock."
Yo Mamma Is So Fat...
She Puts On Her Lipstick With A Paint-roller.
By: huzzle Oct 28 2009 at 07:00am
Yo Mamma Is So Fat...
Not Even Dora Can Explore Her.
By: huzzle Oct 28 2009 at 07:00am
Yo Mamma Is So Fat...
She Was Diagnosed With Flesh Eating Bacteria And The Doctor Gave Her 87 Years To Live.
By: huzzle Oct 28 2009 at 07:02am
Yo Mamma Is So Fat...
When She Steps On A Scale It Says, "To Be Continued..."
By: huzzle Oct 28 2009 at 07:03am
Lewis went out one night and got pretty wasted at a local bar. He awoke the next morning with a terrible hangover and no recollection of what happened the night before, and went to take some Alka-Seltzer and to relieve himself. When he looked down he saw he had a red and brown crusty substance around his dick.
He scraped off a little of each into a container and sent it to a lab for identification. When he went to see the lab technician, the tech said he had some good news and some bad.
"The good news is that the red substance was ordinary lipstick," the tech said. "The bad new is that the brown substance was chewing tobacco."
Definition: Something that's really gay.
Example Usage
“ You do know that those shoes you have on are faggity looking don't you? ”
Definition: Telling someone to be quiet, or shut their mouth.
Example Usage
“ Do you need lessons on how to pick chicks up or something? Sitting at the bar, watching the tv is not going to get you anywhere here. I've already got five phone numbers. How many do you have? ZERO! Fucking wing man. Are you kidding me? You're the worst damn wing ma...
Shut your fucking trap. All you do is yap, yap, yap! I told you, I came here to watch the playoffs, not to pick up sluts. ”
A nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. "Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim."
"I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two."
"I agree," says the Father. "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?"
"Anything, Father."
"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours."
"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."
The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.
"Sister, would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?"
"Yes, Sister?"
"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"
"I suppose that would be OK," the Priest replied lifting his robe.
"Oh Father, may I touch it?"
The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.
"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can Give Life."
"Is that true Father?"
"Yes, it is, Sister."
"Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!"